I definitely have the intention to write more this year. I have yet to figure out if that is typing in this blog or writing with a pen in a journal. I kind of want to do both. I probably will do both. I have the journal and a pen... and my goal last night was to jot a few things down... and then I fell asleep. Opening my computer and getting here - that was simple. So here we are! haha. No rules. No filter. No judgment. It is what it is - and it will look like whatever it's supposed to look like. So here's to an interesting, raw, and real 2020. I raise my pen (and typing fingers) to you, Gods of the Written Word. Let inspiration, motivation, courage, and truth flow through me and onto some type of medium. Please and thank you. Namaste. Amen.
About last night...
Oh what a night!
I feel like I should vlog this entry... but I haven't washed my face yet so a typed one is what you get.
Went out last night to my favorite bar in DTLA.
Felt like a perfect holiday party scene from a movie:
If I knew script writing and filmmaking terms, I would def be better at explaining this scene as it loops in my head as the beginning sequence of some kind of action/adventure/mystery/rom com movie - you know, like the calm before the storm. The scene where we're introduced to all the characters who don't know each other yet, yet have that one mutual friend who conveniently (and I use that term lightly) links them together forever because of some event or tragedy he/she/they instigate fueled by some sort of childhood trauma (that truly should have been worked out in therapy - but then if it was, we wouldn't be having this movie so...) that affects the world or society or the environment or something in some way that requires a team of experts to skillfully and gracefully combat and resolve.
I love shit like this!
And then there was the bar.
* As a petite person in stature with big hair, I am grateful for my wild curls on nights I'm surrounded by tall people. I don't ever feel lost or unseen. If that one curl on the top of my head wants to go Alfalfa, I'm gonna let it. It helps me get noticed during busy bar nights like this. I'm here for it.
I went out by myself last night, as I often do.
I had a good day. I intended on having a good night, too.
Took a lap around the place to get a lay of the land. They opened up the door and the wall (?!) to their hidden gem of a tasting room. Dope! I'd never been in there or seen it before. It would def be fun to go back for one of the exclusive events they have in there.
Took a lap around the place to get a feel for the crowd. So many interesting people were out - there was great potential for entertaining people-watching.
Took a lap around the place to see if I recognized any familiar faces. I don't go there often enough to know everyone, yet sometimes you just might get lucky and run into someone you know. I didn't see anyone in the crowd that looked familiar, but I noticed my favorite bar tenders were on the clock and working hard, so that was cool.
It was a themed dress-up night at the bar: if you came dressed as Santa or an Elf you got a discount on drinks.
SOLD. Sign me up!
I decided to get in the Elf spirit and wore my Will Farrell shirt. It was the first time this holiday season (so far...?) that I felt like being festive. So, regardless of how the night transpired, I knew I would be giggling and feeling good because of how much I loved my outfit and shoes. Winning!
I got a drink and found a spot to perch at one of the standing tables in the center of the room.
A brand new perspective for me, as I usually just stay seated at the bar. Since there were no bar stools and no band playing, I ventured out and tried something new.
It paid off well!
I shared the standing table with a few different groups of friends that were enjoying a night out.
We struck up conversations about the holidays, the atmosphere of the bar, books, travelling adventure, birthdays, etc. It was awesome!
I love chatting people up and getting to know their stories. After all, I whole-heartedly believe that strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
I especially love and appreciate when other people chat me up and initiate conversations! This is what happened a lot last night.
In between new-friendy-convos, I had my eye on the photo booth guy and the line that was fairly consistent all night. I wanted to get in on some photo booth fun! Solo or whatever, this night was def worth remembering. (Plus, I really, really liked the outfit I put together! haha!).
I never really timed it well, though... untillll... I started talking with the girls at the standing table next to me. Their group were seasoned pros at the photo booth so when they were ready to go for it again, they invited me to join them.
So of course I went with them!
I had so much fun vibing with them! They totally adopted me for the remainder of the time they were there. I'm so humbled and grateful! It was fun to talk with their group and join in on one of the girls' birthday celebration. Thank you all, so much! Happy, Happy Birthday!!
When I come to this bar during the week, they have dope musicians performing live music. It's incredible!
This night was so busy, though, there wasn't any room for a band to set up to play music (which is why they don't advertise live music on Saturday nights. Duh).
There was, however, an electronic jukebox - and man, was it pumpin' out good tunes!
Shout out to the jukebox DJ who was hitting all the precious 90s party gems. I don't know who you are, yet I love you. I was boppin' and singin' along as if I was in my car on a long road trip. All out; no fucks given. The place was so loud anyway, no could hear me anyway. Totally made my night.
I had a good day that turned into a great night.
I rallied wicked hard to get it together to go out - and I'm so glad I did.
It was fun to dress up. It was fun to be out. It was fun to be seen. It was fun to make new friends.
It was just fucking fun!
This is the first Christmas I am home in California in 10 years.
I usually travel to Hamilton, Montana to visit my aunt for the holidays and play in the snow.
I have been in some feels for a while (about various things), yet I was definitely missing the Christmas/Holiday Spirit that comes with this season/time of year. Being in a chill, friendly place where Christmas exploded, vibes were positive, and energy was high was just the jolt of comfort and joy I needed.
Oh what I night!
Cheers and great big hugs to everyone I met and interacted with last night. Thank you so much! Y'all are dope af!
Farewell Summer of '19...
Technically summer doesn't officially end until late-September, but wtf ever - Labor Day just passed, school is back in session, and the carefree days of chillin' at the beach already feel like another lifetime ago. (...even though the sun is still scorching...) So, summer is over in my world. lol And here's my review of my Summer of '19.
I took on a lot of new challenges this summer, I held space for a lot of different people this summer. I worked out hard this summer, I chilled like a mf'er this summer. Overall, Summer of '19 was a dream! It wasn't without its milestones, disappointments, revelations, and learning experiences, though. In that sense, Summer of '19 kicked my ass - and I have the bruises to prove it.
I want to go into detail about a lot of these things, yet I feel like each bullet point above could be its own long-ass blog entry. haha. I definitely have a lot to say... right now, though, I just want to express how grateful I am to be able to be here, now, in this space - with all of my issues, flaws, hopes, dreams, disappointments, and aspirations.
My life isn't perfect; I am a nerdy, beautiful mess - yet deep down, in the depth of my soul, I am at peace. I never thought I could feel like this for an extended period of time... yet I do. And so, I am grateful. Grateful beyond words or measure - humbled, even - that this is my life. How blessed I am to be living it.
I have been stuck on the color blue, lately - the color of truth; the color of the throat chakra. This Summer of '19 has been a radical three months of truth, for me. Truths being revealed or uncovered, truths being honored and acknowledged, truths being felt and worked through - truths slapping me across the face and punching me in the gut in an attempt to finally get my attention so it can be revealed, and honored, and felt, and worked through... and so on, and so on... (welcome to my truth cycle!)
If I'm being honest: I'm tired.
I did A LOT this summer, and I'm effing exhausted.
I'm ready for the sun to turn down a lil bit.
I'm ready for the seasons to change.
I'm ready to welcome cooler temps and get cozy in one of my 8 bazillion hoodies.
I'm ready for something new.
I'm ready for ME to be something new... er, rather: something different... more mature... better.
To be in a new space, in a new place.
Somewhere beautiful... and refreshing. Somewhere I can be proud to call home.
I have some ideas of what that will look like... just have to muster up the courage to fully commit to it.
...we shall see... :)
Happy September, y'all!
We nine months into 2019.
Friendly and loving check-in: how are you doing?
You got this!
Keep your head up, Queen.
Mad love and respect to/for ya.